Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
