So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize