everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
