Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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