...so i touched it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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