we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
