I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
