Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
