I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
