Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize