just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
