No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
