I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
