Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
