Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
