sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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