i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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