you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
