i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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