Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
