I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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