The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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