I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
