nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
