3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
