I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
