dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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