No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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