i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
