I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
