Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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