So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Even my vagina gasped.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
