I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she looked like the before picture.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
