Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
