I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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