It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
