I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
