her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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