Say something about gay babies.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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