At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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