we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
