I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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