I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
