Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
