The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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