where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
