I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
