Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
