ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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