If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
