I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
