I hate all girls vehemently.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
