By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize