She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
