So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
