Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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