Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
