Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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