somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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