And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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